My Favorite Emails – Part One

Hi all. Welcome back. It’s been a while. I have decided to start a series of my favorite emails that I have received from others. The first is from Alan Parkhurst. Alan is my Dad’s “partner’ or whatever. He is a total piece of shit. He was forced on me like a bully would take lunch money when I was a child. Much later in life, with the help of a social worker (they ain’t all bad), I learned that now that I was a big grownup, I didn’t have to have him in my life. Newsflash.

My mom and Alan didn’t get along so well. For my Ph.D. graduation, they were both planning to attend. I sent them an email asking them to “play nice” for my sake. I was very nervous about it, and I was pissed that I was nervous. Here is Alan’s response.

<Begin Email>

Dear Joshua,

I’m glad that you are touched that I will be honoring you by coming to your graduation. That was my intention. On my part, you have nothing to worry about. I don’t remember your mother and I EVER making a scene in public. I thought the relationship between you and I [sic] was doing well and that you appreciated what I brought to your father’s life.

I am a little surprised after all you put me through in our early relationship that you would have the balls to “warn” me. If you remember correctly I defended your mother on more than one occasion when you were badmouthing her.

I was VERY hurt during our last visit that your daughter told me that “I wasn’t a part of this family” and both you and Morag let that comment go. I didn’t sleep for four days. Children repeat what they hear. You heard it and chose not to comment or apologize, yet here you are “protecting” your special day.

I do believe that it is more important for your Mom to be there on this special day, so if anyone stays away, I will. I’ll give it some thought, I’m sorry that you would look to the negative when I was just being positive. When we’ve had problems, all I’ve ever wanted to do was iron them out by talking about them but that’s something your family has never done. If this is part of your therapy I would welcome a dialog so you understand both sides of a story. I’d love some closure as well and I’d be happy to wait until after your special day and all the stress you are under now has passed.

Pat, do you have any input here?

Alan

<End Email>

Is that a riot or what? There is just so much I can say, but I think I’ll let Alan speak for himself for now. I will post more of Alan’s emails in the future; they get better. Apparently, this was all kosher with my father. If someone spoke to my daughter that way, I would probably have something to say about it.